by jim | Apr 28, 2021 | Uncategorized
Many years ago there was Buddhist temple in Thailand that was being invaded by a neighboring country. The monks feared the statue of the Golden Buddha would be pillaged, and so they covered it with mud and mortar to hide the true value of the statue. The deception worked, but the monks were massacred, and the invading army occupied the village and temple without realizing the nature of the statue that was hiding in plain sight.
Knowledge of the Golden Buddha quickly faded away as the years passed by. Eventually the foreign army left the village and a new round of monks returned to the temple to reignite their sangha (monastic community). One day a young monk was meditating at the base of the muddy and relatively uninteresting statue when a piece of gold fell through a crack in the statue. Curious he ran to get the other monks and after chiseling away for some time they unearthed the forgotten Golden Buddha.
The metaphor of the Golden Buddha is that our enlightenment or ascension towards Christ Consciousness is possible in any moment. We are all Golden Buddhas, the potential is always there. That includes the people you don’t like, believe things you don’t believe, or that live the “wrong” way with the wrong ideas, politics (yes even Democrats, Republicans, and whatever else you want to label), opinions, and attitudes you have.
The young Prince Siddhartha Gautama chose to embark on a spiritual journey after living a life of extreme pleasure and later abandoning his young family. Eventually he found enlightenment after an arduous journey and much suffering. He developed his own path which he shared through the eightfold path, and this is a fundamental concept. When a student learns great wisdom, they desire to share and teach it. When Gautama attained enlightment and Buddha nature he chose to teach others how to attaing it. He did not ask that you believe him through his words but to apply them in your own experience in the present moment of daily life.
Jesus Christ arrived as a very special gift to mankind. He too traveled and shared his wisdom and teaching to others. He loved everyone whether they loved him or not. He even forgave those who crucified him. His love for those that desired to kill him outweighed their fear of losing power and doubt. Forgiveness is strength, and maybe even the highest form of love, which for some reason some people confuse as weakness.
In my blog about clearing karma, I mentioned that one method is to see the love and the divinity in all others. We all have lessons to learn in life, and we are all on our own unique spiritual path. If we all treated others like we desired to be treated… ah the Golden Rule. As psychologist and spiritual teacher Ram Dass famously stated… “We’re all just walking each other home.” We are all Golden Buddhas dancing on this planet and capable of loving like Jesus if we get out of our own way and let go of fear, negative thinking, and judgment. We can operate from a foundation of either fear or love, we get to choose. Choose wisely.
by jim | Apr 12, 2021 | Uncategorized
We were created with thought. Thoughts are energy. Emotions are energy. Everything is energy. That means that what you think, feel, perceive, judge, and the quality of your thoughts, matter a great deal as to how your life unfolds moment by moment.
I once heard a quote from Denzel Washington that “if you are only looking for red cars you will see red cars.” This is very wise. I see this often with my clients and have experienced this in my own life. If you believe that you are not good enough you will probably fall short every time. You become conditioned to that belief, attached to it if you will. You may then judge yourself to be inferior or inadequate and a swell of negative emotions can seep into your consciousness and subconsciousness to the point you are probably not even be aware of it. This then becomes a stress reactivity cycle and your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors become conditioned, and you get “stuck” in the broken record and every time you try to get out of it you find some experience that reinforces your belief that you are a victim, the world is not fair, people are jerks, and there is nothing you can do about it. This is where anxiety and depression can manifest and become greater obstacles on your path as you continue to feed them.
In my own spiritual journey, psychological work, and inner child regression eventually, after confronting my self-defeating core beliefs, I arrived at my truth that… “I AM LOVED.”
The process of seeking truth and doing inner child work was not easy or comfortable but the result was terribly wonderful. All my life I had the ability to love others unconditionally. I practiced mindfulness and nonjudgment to others but in reality, I judged myself harshly. I didn’t love myself, not really anyway. I would have told you I did and believed it superficially, but I was too busy trying to help and support others and make them happy and thus my health and wellbeing was lost in the shuffle. I told myself that I was strong and could take it and became a martyr in my own mind, and I chose to suffer in silence because deep down I thought I deserved it. I was really good at making myself feel miserable and putting myself down. My view and actions towards others was inspiring and optimistic but my thoughts about myself and my place in this world were anxious, depressing, and brought in more negative thoughts and emotions reinforced by my own inner critic. The weight of this negativity became palpable both physically and mentally. I did myself no favors.
When I started meditating and went on a Vipassana Retreat I started to become aware of my stress, my thoughts, and the emotions I was carrying. I began to see for the first time how profoundly angry I was at my position in life and how much it was influencing my daily habits and relationships with others, including my relationship with myself, which brings to mind the story of the two wolves:
***
The Two Wolves
A Native American elder was teaching his young grandson about life.
“I have a fight going on inside me,” the old man said to the young boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt and ego.
The other good- he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
The same fight is going on inside you and every other person, too.”
The child took a moment to reflect on this. At last, he looked up at his grandfather and asked, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee gave a simple reply. “The one you feed.”
***
We can all relate to this story on some level. What I’ve learned through my own work in mindfulness meditation and other meditative, yogic techniques, and regression therapy is that we are often the only one standing in our path. We are the obstacle. Once I realized that my own thoughts and feelings of inferiority, self-doubt, and anger- that I was solely responsible for were of no service to myself or anyone in my life and that I could let that go, because eventually I learned that “I AM LOVED.”
Remember that the obstacle becomes the path. I was the obstacle, so I had to work on myself in order to find my freedom, peace, and love. Don’t make the mistake of looking outside yourself for happiness. No person or treasure will complete you or make you happy, it comes from within. By learning to counter my inner critic with a kind and loving inner compassionate coach I could start to build myself up and mold my intentions, thoughts, and actions with greater awareness, self-realization, and determination.
One practice tip on how to talk to yourself is to imagine what you might say to your best friend who is going through a difficult time. It is probably different than how you talk to yourself. Start talking to yourself with a positive tone using those uplifting words, love, and encouragement towards yourself. Be honest with yourself but build yourself up. Love yourself.
***
Exercise: use this affirmation while in prayer, meditation, or in an auto-suggestive state of contemplation or journaling. State the affirmation several times aloud, confidently, and with clear intention. Your word is a cosmic vibration and sets the stage for your success. After you have stated the affirmation aloud several times you may say it softly and then say it mentally. Write it down. You can be creative and make your own affirmation to suit yourself and present situation.
“I AM LOVED.”
“I AM WORTHY.”
“I AM CAPABLE.”
***
When you have soaked the affirmation into the roots of your mind and felt emotion while doing so you will have felt a shift or lightness. Repeat the exercise as often as is needed. You may even choose to do what I do sometimes and listen to Foreigner’s “I want to know what love is.” Music is energy.
When you love yourself, you will see yourself in a different light. Love is truth. Love is light. With greater awareness your thoughts and emotions will start to align effortlessly to loving yourself, loving others, and touching more positive thinking and emotions. Believe in the miracle of possibilities.
by jim | Apr 5, 2021 | Uncategorized
We all want to experience bliss, joy, and happiness while avoiding pain and needless suffering in our lives. We suffer to learn the broad range and totality of being human until we ultimately find the meaning of life, which is to love- it is our teacher. The first half of our lives is spent burning off karma, learning lessons, and the second part is to grow spiritually and eventually when we are ready is to discover the path of our spiritual awakening. Below I will share and comment on four exercises that can help accelerate burning off negative karma according to the channeled text, The Law of One: Book One, (10.4) by Ra, an humble messenger of the Law of One:
Exercise One. This is the most nearly centered and useable within your illusion complex. The moment contains love. That is the lesson/goal of this illusion or density. The exercise is to consciously see that love in awareness and understanding distortions. The first attempt is the cornerstone. Upon this choosing rests the remainder of the life experience of an entity. The second seeking of love within the moment begins the addition. The third seeking empowers the second, the fourth powering or doubling the third. As with the previous type of empowerment, there will some loss of power due to flaws within the seeking in the distortion of insincerity. However, the conscious statement of self to self of the desire to seek love is so central an act of will that, as before, the loss of power due to this friction is inconsequential.
Exercise Two. This universe is one being. When a mind/body/spirit complex views another mind/body/spirit complex, see the Creator.
Exercise Three. Gaze within the mirror. See the Creator.
Exercise Four. Gaze at the creation which lies about the mind/body/spirit complex of each entity. See the Creator.
The foundation or prerequisite of these exercises is a predilection towards what may be called meditation, contemplation, or prayer. With this attitude, these exercises can be processed. Without it, the data will not sink down into the roots of the tree of mind, thus enabling and ennobling the body and touching the spirit.
Intention to seek love in the present moment through the distortions (maya, Sanskrit for illusion). Choosing loving awareness can only be accomplished through Free Will. Mindfulness is way of being in the present moment, purposefully, so by being loving in the present is a beautiful and will sow rewards. When you choose love, negative thoughts and emotions fall away without effort just as a river flows naturally to the source.
***
“The total number of minds in the universe is one. In fact, consciousness is a singularity phasing within all beings.”
-Erwin Schrodinger
***
The Universe is One Being. See others as God in the Flesh. “The Creator” is in you as well as others, even those whom you despise, loathe, hate, judge, hurt you or others you love and care about, make fun of you, throw stones, or make life just pain difficult and vice versa. God created them with love too. God, Brahma, Jesus, Allah, Yahweh, the Intelligent Infinity, the Universal Creator (or use your preferred concept of a higher power) resides in everyone. If you can see the spark of the cosmic flame in someone you fear or judge, then you will make tremendous progress letting go of negative karma. Imagine you had strength and courage to forgive everyone who has ever hurt you? Imagine you have the strength and courage to forgive yourself. This is powerful stuff. Forgiveness is a form of love. Be kind and love yourself. By realizing negative thoughts, emotions, and embracing love you will start to raise your vibration, feel lighter, more free, and raise your awareness more towards what might be referred to as cosmic, Christ, or Buddha consciousness. The friction with the distortion of insincerity I believe refers to frustration or resentment that can arise when you try to love someone that doesn’t care, it isn’t received, or doesn’t love themselves.
As for the third exercise as noted above, you are made of the substance of God, a spark of the fire of spirit, and atom of the cosmic flame, and a cell of the vast universal body of the creator according to Paramahansa Yogananda. This is Dharma or universal truth. Be curious, look into your own eyes, peer into your soul and wonder at the beautiful creation you are. Honor and cherish your divinity. Be kind and loving to yourself, forgive yourself if you need to, and free yourself from the bondages of karma and embrace the miracle of your being. Love and compassion must include you to be complete and whole.
The fourth exercise to my mind is to see God in all things. This can be accomplished through prayer, contemplation, and meditation to sink in and be absolutely absorbed by the mind. If God created everything then everything is a part of God, be ever mindful of this concept. Imagine seeing God in all things- a simple thought but I think challenging to perceive.
God is love. God is truth. God is light. Everything happens for a reason. There are no coincidences. This takes many lifetimes to learn. There is a natural polarity that exists in the world and in ourselves as well. We are all aspects of good and bad in some sense. The greater balance that exists in our minds, body, and spirit, the more power and energy we must overcome obstacles, things tend to flow without effort. We were created with a thought, and so our thoughts have the power to create. Loving thoughts will manifest love, and likewise fear and negative thinking will create correspondingly. The best way I can think of is imagining the voice of Sir Richard Attenborough in a nature documentary describing the vast beauty and awe of this planet, the nature, and the beautiful creatures that exist, life.
We all have the power to create beauty in this world. What are you willing to try? The world needs more love now then ever.
by jim | Mar 6, 2021 | Uncategorized
Fear is often defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the perception of a real or imagined danger. The natural effects of fear can range from mild emotional distress to debilitating physical trauma. Our ability to address new and existing fear is a skillset that requires awareness and support. Without this ability, fear can thrive, wreaking havoc on your mind and body, while imprisoning your soul and preventing you from experiencing life in its true perspective.
Throughout the current Coronavirus pandemic, individuals have been required to respond to both physical and psychological threats, which were often veiled within conflicting messages about personal safety and social responsibility. Many of the response options have revolved around our personal judgments and ability to overcome our fears. Whether quarantines, social distancing, avoiding family or friends, education choices, government support, and trust in the medical industry, this year we have all experienced fear and it’s paralyzing effects.
While walking on a trail recently in Old Ellicott City, a middle-aged woman yelled at me when she noticed that my mask was resting just below my nose. It did not matter to her that I was more than the obligatory 6ft. away and following posted guidelines in the park, in that moment I was a physical representation of death, she feared me, I was a sabretooth tiger in her mind. Juxtapose that with another hike in the Patapsco Valley park where I was fully masked. A mountain biker laughed at me, saying, “Hope the trees don’t give you the virus, haha!” for wearing a mask in the woods. I laughed too, it was funny, and wished him well, but I was motivated by my own fear of being yelled at by another “Karen.” We never please everyone, don’t try.
Recognition of fear can be healthy, and even lifesaving, when approached with a balanced mindset. To recognize fear, one must acknowledge its existence to cultivate awareness of how we react so we can better respond to this unpleasant emotion. Fear produces emotional, cognitive, and physiological reactions. Fear and excitement feel the same in the body. We can learn to identify and use these signals (physical sensations) to shift towards a more functional and creative mindset.
Not too long ago a client in my clinical practice was faced with the prospect of his employment contract expiring. When I asked him what he would do if that scenario happened, he became angry at me as to why I (as a therapist) would “put that idea in my [his] head.” He was denying that it was a possible outcome and wanted to avoid the fear, pain, and unpleasantness. The contract was not renewed and the fear, worry, and emotional pain came anyway. He did what many do, his belief was that if he did not think of the negative outcome it would not come true. Live and learn, right? I have done it, have you? No judgment is a skill to cultivate.
Contrast that with a more resilient client who when confronted with a similar prospect faced his situation with a more calm, wise, and creative mind. He reached out to his network immediately and identified several potential landing spots for his services. He was able to embrace the possible change and work with uncertainty. Remember that both change & pain are inevitable, but suffering is optional. Had the first client prepared for the possibility of change earlier, then losing the job would have been less painful, for he would have prepared for that potentiality. His fear was valid. The second client did not lose his job and is continuing to thrive but is now more confident in the knowledge that options exist should things change, as they probably will.
***
The Bangladesh Ferry Incident
When I was in Peace Corps Bangladesh, I lived in a village called Gopalganj, several hours south of Dhaka. To travel anywhere I had to cross the Padma (Ganges in India) river by ferry. Crossing a river by ferry is common and can be rife with danger. Try googling bagladesh ferry boats.
The process was this; take a passenger bus to the river, disembark, get on a small passenger ferry, and then cross the river while a second bus on the other side would continue the journey. On this occasion while crossing, a sudden, fast-moving, and fierce thunderstorm came upon us, causing the shallow draft boat to rock from side to side to the point I had to hold on to keep from falling off. If you can visualize the Viking ship from an amusement park going side to side versus front to back, not pleasant at all. At points during the pendulum motion, I was staring face to face with the fast-moving current. I quickly realized this was where my life would end, and if you have ever felt this or can relate… time stood still.
In that moment of stillness, a lifetime passed my conscious awareness. Some might say my life flashed before my eyes. I thought about my loving parents and family, and how terribly sad they would be, and how they would wonder what they could have done to prevent this tragedy. I didn’t see anyway out of this so I wanted to communicate to them that I loved them and to let them know I would be okay, I KNEW that somehow. A knowing beyond knowing.
I then remember smiling and being grateful for the life I had. I could not complain. I had wanted adventure traveling the world and I had found it. I also remember being in awe that the story of this life was coming to an end, we always wonder but never really know how or when our point of departure may occur, but this was the moment, and I found a tremendous peace in that.
I tried unsuccessfully to smoke a cigarette in the rain to calm my nerves a little and prepared to jump. One thing we were taught is that if the ferry vessel goes down it will suck you down if you don’t get far enough away. There were several other men standing around the back of the ferry with me smoking and nervously chewing betel nut. Inside the cabin of the small ferry were mostly women and children crying hysterically and wailing out loud and praying to “Allah” to save them from certain death. The atmosphere was charged with energy of the collective nightmare taking place. The ferry was overloaded of course with at least 150 people, maybe more, all believing that death was shortly upon us.
I curiously investigated the river as the boat rocked back and forth and was waiting for the precise moment to jump. I knew that jumping into the water meant death but there was at least a chance. My muscles began to tense. I was a decent swimmer, but the current was incredibly intense, especially with the winds of the storm. Michael Phelps would not have had a chance, but what the hell, I had nothing to lose. As I worked up the courage in my mind to make the leap a moment happened that changed my life forever.
I heard the words “DON’T JUMP!” vividly vibrate through my entire body.
It shook my soul and I stood there frozen. In that moment I heard God, the Creator, Jesus, Allah, Krishna, my guardian angel- call it whatever you want. I knew crystal clear, without a shadow of any doubt…that God or some angelic spirit had just spoke to me directly. I knew in that moment that the boat would make it to shore, which made absolutely no sense. This rickety overcrowded ferry in an already dangerous river in a storm with a shallow draft making a successful crossing defied my logical brain. My soul, or intuition knew we would live.
One of the old ferry men who had a weathered face with a white beard looked into my eyes just then and said “okay,” meaning we would make it. It made no sense to me at all, but his eyes looked calm amidst the storm, wailing, and crying of the women and children, and I was surely not alone in my catastrophic thinking. There was a lot of praying and negotiating going on with God in those moments. My brain knew instinctually that we should be dead at any moment, I hoped it would be quick… and yet my heart and soul knew that we would survive. My death was not happening today. I remembered the story of St. Paul and mused “I guess that is how that works.”
When the boat got closer to the shoreline I did not wait to disembark, I just jumped off the boat onto the muddy riverbank. I tried to climb up in the intense rain but kept sliding back down toward the water. I was covered in mud from head to toe, I looked ridiculous. Eventually I was able to claw my way up to the top. It was raining so intensely that all the mud just washed away as quickly as it appeared.
I was the only bideshi (foreigner) in the area, all alone, no one to share the story with. The bus conductor came up to me and apologized for leading such a hazardous journey on the Palash Bus Company of Gopalganj. I assured him that I had no complaints about him or the company. He was on the ferry with too, and I know he felt the same fear I did. I was just relieved to have dodged a bullet Matrix style on that trip. For the record I love the Palash Bus Company, and Gopalganj.
In one of the scariest moments of my life God revealed himself. Some people ask for signs. I did not on this occasion, but I did express gratitude to God for the life I had. I admit I was fortunate to have the experience, which is why I share it now. It is just impossible to doubt something like that when it happens to you. I do remember questioning myself- “Did that just really happen?” … “How in the hell did we just survive that?.” I spent a lot of time in my journal and in thought contemplating that event and my conclusion is that I had a purpose, it was not my time, and even though I did not know everything, I had lessons to learn.
We ALL have a purpose and lessons to learn. You do not need to believe in God, go to a specific church, or have the right faith. God made all of us in his image, we all come from the same source.
Years later having survived various challenges in life and now a pandemic I can honestly say that I am not afraid of death. My body will return to dust, but my soul and conscious awareness will continue to exist. It just is.
I share this story to hopefully inspire others in some small way. If you are still reading there was a reason, for there are no coincidences in life. Often in psychology we (professionals) fear talking about death and spirituality as some fringe aspect of life and the unknown but as a clinical therapist and more importantly a student of life, I have learned that many people have stories like mine but are afraid to share them even with loved ones for fear of being mocked and ridiculed.
I have heard far too many stories. However, science is increasingly studying the phenomenon of Near-Death Experiences, or NDE’s, and the research is beyond compelling. When we speak of mindfulness and conscious awareness, where does it begin and end? Perhaps the future and past are all wrapped up in this present moment.
Some people believe that all anxiety can be whittled down to a fear of death. If you are not afraid of death then you can begin to understand there is nothing to worry about. The happiest country in the world meditates on death five times per day in the tiny Himalayan Kingdom of Bhutan. Think about that. When you are not afraid of death, you focus your time on living in the present, learning new things, spending time with family and friends. Mindfulness can help minimize distractions and prioritize paying attention in the present moment to meet fear and difficulty with kindness, love, and compassion.
Remember that the real meditation is the moment that you are living in right now, it is life. Do not be afraid to live, take risks, and fail. As my mentor Dr. Wendy Hill says, “from the ashes of your despair arises the Phoenix of your truth and joy.”
by jim | Feb 23, 2021 | Uncategorized
Mindfulness is classically defined as paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, with non-judgment. With awareness, true awareness, all things are possible. You have the power to change your life for the better, and our society as well, but you must want to do it. We all have free will. We all have choice.
One can see in today’s polarized world how easy our mindsets can find the worst in each other and become unbalanced, and quite negative to everyone’s detriment. People are incredibly good about projecting their judgment, fears, and anxieties onto other people, all in the name of moral virtue. I am right, and you are wrong gets replayed over and over like a broken record solving nothing and creating more conflict, polarization, and negativity in the world. It is harder to reflect on our own minds, attitudes, beliefs, and actions and how they impact ourselves and others. Here is a simple antidote: do not let miserable people make you miserable.
If you learn anything from a wise teacher, mentor, coach, or therapist then learn to love yourself and others as well, even those you do not agree with. By choosing with mindful intention to be peaceful, compassionate, and meet moments of difficulty with kindness we can begin the process of change not only in our own lives but in our society and world as well.
Intention: The thing that you plan to do or achieve: your aim or purpose.
Below is a brief outline about how to cultivate a powerful, kind, and loving mindful mindset.
1. Intention shapes our thoughts, words, and emotions.
2. Thoughts, words, and emotions mold our actions.
3. Thoughts, words, emotions, and actions shape our behaviors.
4. Behaviors sculpt our bodily expressions.
5. Bodily expressions fashion our character.
6. Our character hardens into what we look like.
***
Practice Tip:
List your intentions for practice, write them down, and start to bring awareness to the changes you want to see in your life. It will help immensely to journal your progress as well, daily if possible.
***
For example. I recently decided to let go of any negative thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that I was carrying. I didn’t really know how many I had since all of them are not always in my conscious mind. However, though a formal mindfulness meditation practice and also meditating on the image of the violet flame, an image used to transmute (change in form) into the more positive emotion of love and forgiveness for anyone who has ever hurt me and also for myself, my actions, and for those I have hurt. By setting the intention to stop beating myself up with my inner critic (we are harder on ourselves than anyone) and choosing to love myself and others I have felt a powerful shift in my life. I feel lighter and more free to live how I want.
When we practice loving kindness meditation by myself or in a group we send our love and vibration to ALL sentient beings to feel safe, be loved, be happy, and be peaceful, not just those that agree with this belief or that, and it turns out that it feels quite good to release love into the universe. The world will start to change when we begin to see the good in ourselves and how we can contribute to the world. As with all things this must be practiced, so set an intention when you are ready and start making the change you want to see in your life!
