You are a miracle. I repeat, YOU are a miracle. Every life has a reason. Every life has a purpose. You are a spark of the cosmic flame, which means that your life is very special and precious. You are loved, and you are also guided on this journey. You are not alone. You are never alone. You came into this world as light, and someone put a name on you. This light can sometimes be covered and buried deep in mud metaphorically by our early childhood experiences and the subsequent stories we tell ourselves that shape how we view ourselves and the world and relationships around us. As is often the case, we forget who we truly are, and so to understand ourselves we must embark on a journey and a special effort to rediscover our true nature, our humanness, our power, our courage, and our ability to love, be peaceful, and to create wonder in this world and in our lives.
Early on in our lives when we become conscious, which is probably earlier that you can remember our experience is impacted by events that carry an emotional charge. If we are fortunate, these early life experiences are nurtured and filled with love from our parents, family, and friends with a stable home and community that is safe and peaceful. If this was your experience, then it is something to be grateful for. It is far too easy for us to be judgmental and unwise to compare our experience with others, mindfulness teaches us to aspire to be nonjudgmental, which is much easier said than done in the practice of daily life. We all meet adversity in life in various forms, and we have different lessons to learn. Some people as children experience unimaginable trauma, abuse, and hostility, where the environment is anything but safe. Regardless of where your personal experience lies on this spectrum of being good or bad we all have something called high impact moments that shape our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves and the how we view the world and our place in it, beliefs about the safety of the world, feeling secure enough to take risks, and live with fun, love, and experience adventure, or if the world is scary, dangerous, and people are not to be trusted, in which case we may operate from a place of fear.
These high impact moments and beliefs become our mind’s default operating system found deep inside our subconscious mind. For one example, a child with an alcoholic parent may set aside their own emotions and sense of safety to help care for the parent who is coping with their own emotions maladaptively. With the roles reversed the child can become numb or even detached to the emotionally unsafe environment and can fail to develop healthy ways to manage their own emotions and wellbeing. The child is not allowed to be a child. The child may learn to become numb to emotions and pain, and then repeat the maladaptive behavior in their own adult life. A self-defeating core belief might be that the child does not deserve to be loved, and therefore won’t know how to love themselves or others in a healthy manner. Their adult relationships and more importantly their relationship with themselves may suffer unless they seek to understand themselves on a deeper level.
Mindfulness and other psychotherapeutic techniques and inner child work can help us bring awareness to our subconscious beliefs about ourselves and our relationships with friends, family, and our partners. The question being once you get to it is:
How am I showing up in my life in this present moment?
How do I want to be?
Chances are there is room for self-improvement, or at least that is my experience, and I say that without judgment. Understanding yourself requires effort to examine your life with thoughtfulness, compassion, and courage. It is uniquely terrifying to look inward and acknowledge what is good in our lives, what we could improve, and what we might feel negative about, including emotions such as guilt or shame- which are some of the lowest vibrational emotions you can carry. We all have off-peak moments, have been embarrassed, and have skeletons in our closets. We are all flawed. We are all human. May we all accept our humanness and understand that we are all just doing the best we can. For those who seek the truth in understanding ourselves while the effort can be scary it is also terribly wonderful. The legend of the phoenix arises from the ashes when you put in the work to reawaken the possibility of bringing in greater love and joy into your life. You may even ask:
How do I want to BE in my life, in this present moment?
What do I need to bring more joy into my life?
These questions require time and effort. Be kind to yourself and be patient as you work to understand and bring awareness to how you view yourself, others, and the world around you. Is it possible, and all things are possible, to forgive yourself, forgive your past, forgive your enemies, and those who have hurt you and the people you love. Are you open to that possibility? To know in this present moment, NOW, you can BE safe and secure, happy, joyful, loved, and free from fear. You can choose to act from your heart center, with love instead of fear. You can be kind to yourself. Love yourself and forgive yourself and others who have hurt you. You can let go of hate and resentment if you are carrying that emotion with you. You have the power to heal your life. Nothing that has happened in your past needs to weigh you down anymore, you can be free if you want to be.
Understanding ourselves means realizing that our beliefs are very powerful. We are powerful. Love is powerful. We are made with love. We are made with light. Remember you are a miracle, and a spark from the cosmic flame. Your light is special. Remember your light, that there is good in you, and see the light and the good in others- this is perhaps needed now more than ever in our lives.